Seasons of Change part II

Seasons of Change

Hello

Psalm 139:16

You saw me before I was born and scheduled each day of my life before I began to breathe. Every day was recorded in your book.

I started talking about change and the season's of our lives, ever changing whether we are aware of it or not. My last 20 years can be measured by the shops I opened and closed among other things of course. But in my last post I had been talking about my work or what I have put my hand to and the changes that have taken place.

I talked about Simply Posh and the success it enjoyed and how I learned to pull my big girl panties up and step out in faith. I believe that God has his hand in all that we do, if we put our trust in him but as we go through life that trust level changes. What I once considered a giant leap of faith yesterday is not such a big deal today... because I have learned by taking that first step of trust or faith that God is faithful and trustworthy, so that I go from faith to faith from one season to another. 

After I closed Simply Posh I kept busy with many things. I did things that were put on hold because there are only so many minutes in the day.
 I traveled, something I love to do. I always get excited over a good road trip!

Giverney

Paris

Hawaii

Also... My girls were having babies, so I enjoyed being able to be there for the births of Savannah and Sophie just 3 months apart. This of course includes designing the nurseries... sewing and painting.

It would have been fine if I could have stayed on the road but Mr. Re-Purposed would have had a few things to say about that, I am sure. 
 I found myself missing the shop life or at least having that something in front of me when I got out of bed in the morning.
 An opportunity presented itself... right on time for God's next season of my life!
Vintage Living

I had fun with this shop! 
It was meant to be a destination shop, that is I did not have to cater to all the things I did not want to deal with. It was just the right size 1600 sq ft and a beautiful studio space in the back of the store. It opened up onto a patio under apple trees next to a quaint pub that served wonderful food and good wine. The studio space allowed me to give workshops, which I found to be so inspiring for me. Such lovely women I was privileged to know.

Studio

This shop featured handmade items and put the emphasis on creativity instead of home decor. Which took the competitive edge off and allowed me to carry only the things I really wanted and enjoyed. It gave me room to try different things and stretch my creativity and it gave me the time I needed to do it.

Everything in my life seemed to be going fairly well... we had glitches along the way (and I mean mountain size glitches) but nothing major in the past few years and life was good.
Let me just stop here for a second and I will tell you where I was spiritually. 
I am going to get real personal here, so those of you who are here for the pictures might want to move on at this point.

I have said before that I was raised in a spiritual home, by that I mean I was brought up as Jesus Christ being the Lord and savior of my life. I have known Jesus all my life but I have not always walked with him, there were times in my life when I walked away. In the past I had struggled with this, how could I have had a relationship with my God all my life and then just rebel and do the things I knew were wrong for me? Does that take away from the time I was walking with him, does that mean what I said and did wasn't done in truth? Didn't I know better? Sometimes we know things in our heads but it takes experiencing it to get it into our hearts. Once it is in our hearts it is then who we become.
Paul says in Romans 7 that, For the good that I would, I do not; but the evil which I would not, I do. Now if I do that I would not, it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me.
Even Paul had trouble doing what he knew to be right, we all struggle against sin warring against us. It is that very struggle that God uses to show us who we are in him and it is our growing pains. As I said we all have seasons, that season of my life, I liken to my spiritual teenage rebellious years. This is the path I had to take to bring me to where I am today. 

 "I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the Lord do all these things.  Isaiah 45:7(KJV)
Instead of thinking good and bad consider there are positive and negative forces working. If only good happened in your life, how would you know it was good without the bad? How would you appreciate sweet without sour, how would you know light without darkness, warmth without cold, fairness without injustice, mercy without deserved punishment... love without hate.
Every one of us is on a journey... this journey is our life, our season here on earth and to that purpose is to know God. To know and understand his love... pure and simple, it is why we are here.
Getting back to my journey...

Looking back I can see how things fell into place for a reason, it was God's pure mercy on my life that brought me to where I am. As I said I always had a certain amount of trust in him and gave my life's decisions to him. But I like to move it move it move it, as they say, God made me that way. It is in our strengths that we find our greatest weakness. It is when I am in my element that I tend not to give it over to him... cause I can do it.
There is no doubt in my mind God had ordained my opening Vintage Living... 
it was going to be a turning point in my life.

"I am the vine, you are the branches, he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing." John 15:5  This verse was what the Lord spoke to me through concerning the shop. 

That turning point started about a year after I opened, the shop was doing just what I had expected and more. I was carving out my niche in life. I was finding my creativity again, when I closed Simply Posh I hadn't been in my studio for almost 2 years. I was exploring new friendships and the blogging world opened up new avenues and friendships. The women's creative movement was in full swing and I was in the thick of things... life was good.

Ok, you got the picture... now wait for it, do you hear it,
do you hear it?

Do you hear the sound of the other shoe dropping?
Or in my case and the rest of the world's case,
the sound of the economy dropping!

I couldn't have chosen a worse store to open then this one, in the economy that was to come. From the location to the French antiques to the high end bedding, clothing and decor I invested in. As I said I had made this store everything I liked, creme de la creme. 
The first year of the collapse I kept on top, my customers were still optimistic and although sales fell off I still was good. Towards the end of the year I lost my father. He had always been my spiritual rock. The day before he died he looked at me and said, " nothing matters but loving the Father."

 By the next year things got bleak. 
My hope was to hold on and maybe the economy would turn around. I also had a Where Women Create photo shoot and the publicity couldn't hurt. I really had nothing else to hold on to, except the Lord and he quit talking.

I am the first to say I am an artist and not a business person. I actually was a bookkeeper years ago but it is not my strong suit. The shop was dead, I knew that but I kept trying to raise it up just like Lazarus. I had a year to go on my lease and I was holding on.

Trying many different avenues to drum up business and sitting back in my studio praying... praying... praying.

Only to have those prayers bounce off the ceiling and back into my lap.

The stress of it all was having its toll on me as we got deeper and deeper in debt... I began to have bouts of vertigo, often. If you have ever had vertigo you know it will bring you to your knees fast. 

I could not afford to close the shop so I laid on the floor in my studio and only got up long enough to wait on the few customers that came through the door. I was miserable. Those days were like wandering in the wilderness. 

God had turned his back and I was not going to let go. I was simply abiding or clinging to the vine, it is all I knew to do.

It was during this time, some days down on my face before the Lord that God took pity on his servant. He somehow did a healing within me. I was able to get to the point where I could give it all up, nothing mattered but Him. I got to the point where my will did not matter and like Job, I could say "Though He slay me, yet will I serve Him."

Eccl. 7:13 Consider the work of God, for who is able to straighten what He has bent? In the day of prosperity be happy, but in the day of adversity consider--God has made the one as well as the other.

God however, is not in the slaying business. He loves His children and like the perfect father knows what is best for them. He chastises those He loves, He brings the heat to purify. When silver or gold is refined it is put under intense heat and the impurities go to the top and then are skimmed off. This process is done until the gold or silver is pure and the silversmith is able to see his reflection, so it is with God.

God finally broke his silence with Isaiah 54:6-17
For the Lord hath called thee like a woman forsaken and grieved in spirit and a wife of youth, when thou wast refused, saith thy God. For a small moment have I forsaken thee, but with great mercies will I gather thee. In a little wrath I hid my face from thee for a moment, but with everlasting kindness will I have mercy on thee, saith the Lord, thy Redeemer. For this is like the waters of Noah unto me; for as I have sworn that the waters of Noah should no more go over the earth, so have I sworn that I would not be angry with thee nor rebuke thee.
For the mountains shall depart, and the hills be removed; but my kindness shall not depart from thee, neither shall the covenant of my peace be removed, saith the Lord, who hath mercy on thee. 
O thou afflicted, tossed with tempest and not comforted, behold I will lay they stones with fair colors, and lay they foundations with sapphires. And I will make they windows of agates and they gates of carbuncles and all they borders of pleasant stones. And all thy children shall be taught of the Lord, and great shall be the peace of they children. In righteousness shalt thou be established; thou shalt be far from oppression; for thou shalt not fear; and from terror; for it shall not come near thee. Behold, they shall surely gather together, but not my me; whosoever shall gather together against thee shall fall for thy sake. Behold, I have created the smith that bloweth the coals in the fire, and that bringeth forth an instrument for his work; and I have created the waster to destroy. No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is from me, saith the Lord.

This scripture God spoke to my heart as though lightening came down and struck me. He overwhelmed me with His presence and love. This came as all else was collapsing around me. 

My husband and I had been to several lawyers and it didn't look good.

All that I worked for in the past, my name and reputation, all that I had accumulated, all that I had collected, my studio everything might be put up on the auction block and sold for pennies on the dollar. My livelihood was there and I was told I couldn't take anything home. I felt as though I would be exposed and they would come and pick the flesh off my bones. To add to my stress the article had come out in WWC and there would be no shop to visit. Not only embarrassing but disappointing to the readers.  How ironic that in the middle of all this, I get a beautiful 12 page spread in a national magazine. Success... how I defined myself for years now would be a laugh. 

All this ran pale in the light of God's silence. All this really didn't matter because God gave me a promise that He would work it out. All this was not my defining moment... I was not going to go down with this, God was speaking and I was listening. 
What I wanted really deep down in my inner being was only to be pleasing to God and if that meant public humiliation then so be it. For the first time in my life I didn't care what I wanted, I only wanted God's heart. I wanted the will of the Father for me, not my will but my heavenly Fathers will.
To say things fell in place would be an understatement. God did work things out for our better. We did not have to put the shop up for auction and we closed Vintage Living at the end of our lease. 
This season of my life ended and not in humiliation but with a new promise and new expectations of what God had next.

God opened up new doors for me through the magazine article and because of the shop. We are still trying to dig out from underneath the burden of the past but that only builds our faith to faith trusting and proving God in our lives.

Seasons come and go but what remains is what God builds in us.
I am not the same person I was 5 years ago and I will be a different person 5 years from now. Hopefully a stronger woman of God that finds my Father pleased.

Blessings to all of you 
and thank you for sticking with me... 
this was a long post!
Rebecca