Reflection

Sometimes, the past becomes the present...

this weekend we said our goodbyes to Doug Spies 

and helped each other mend some wounds that needed to be bound.

I was married to Doug Spies for 10 years and out of that marriage came two beautiful daughters and three amazing grandchildren.

The marriage was hard. 

But I thank God and praise Him for all of it. 
God taught me much during those difficult years and I believe there was a purpose in it all.

During those years Doug gave his life over to Christ and found some peace... but it was hard for him to hold onto it. 
Doug could not let go of the past. The Viet Nam war overshadowed his life and robbed him of all that he loved most. 
You see Doug accepted Christs forgiveness but he did not accept his own forgiveness. He couldn't step into that freedom from the past that Christ was offering him.

God loved Doug.

God loved Doug so much he sacrificed himself for him when Doug was yet in sin, and then promised never to leave him. 
When God put His  spirit in Doug, the Holy Spirit sealed Doug for eternity. Doug became an eternal being. No matter where Doug was physically or emotionally God was there.
In Romans it says that the same spirit that raised Christ from the dead dwells in us and gives life eternal. If you believe in Christ Jesus and ask Him to dwell in you, you are an eternal being. You bring heaven with you!

When God looked at Doug he saw Christ's perfection, he saw the finished and perfected Doug. He found no fault in Doug.

I find no fault.
If Christ can forgive me all my selfish acts than how can I not forgive others. How can I not forgive Doug. Some things are hard to understand. If I trusted God with my life how could I be in a marriage that threatened my very existence?
Looking back now, I see the hand of God protecting, healing and loving me and my children. 
Yes, and loving Doug. At the time I just held on to the Lord and He gave me contentment and joy. He took me to another place and gave me peace.

As for forgiveness, it is simply a choice. It is choosing no matter what our feelings are trying to scream out. It is a choice no matter what our mind tries to reason. Forgiveness is saying, I forgive and letting God do the rest... sometimes over and over and over.

I choose to love and move on and keep giving it all to my Savior, my friend.

One of my favorite bible verses is Romans 8:38

In all things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us,

For I am persuaded that neither death, nor life, or angels, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height. nor depth, nor any other creation, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus. our Lord.

Doug now is more than a conqueror, he is surrounded by the love of the Father and has found his place with Christ in the Heavenlies.

Thank you so much to all of you who left words of support and comfort.


Blessings
Rebecca